When my husband and I first got married, he would randomly say things like…”I would love to see you fucking another man” or “It would be hot to see you taking a thicker dick.” Now people, I am a southern woman, born and raised. You can imagine how that went over with me and my southern Baptist raising. I would accuse him of wanting me to “cheat” so that he would have a reason to be with other women. No matter how many times he assured me that he was simply aroused by the thought, I just knew he didn’t find me attractive and was pushing me off on other men. I had little sexual experience then. Two partners before my husband, one of those only once. All of it vanilla.
Over the course of fifteen years of marriage, my husband introduced the idea rarely again. He did, however, start introducing a little rougher sex into our lives. I found I loved it, the spankings, the hair pulling, the choking, the biting. Don’t even get me started on being marked! Lord be, that would keep me wet for days. Right before my 40th birthday, the husband secretly posted an ad for casual encounters on Craigslist. He never told me about it, until the replies started coming in. He approached me at the time and said, “I can no longer satisfy you. You need this. We need this. Just look at the replies and see what you think.”
I was angry at first, then intrigued as I read through all of the replies of the men interested in ME?!? I mean, these were YOUNG guys! I was almost 40, what people nicely call a BBW, and inexperienced. I was looking at hot men, interested in a FWB situation with me, OK with my husband watching occasionally, and I was so fucking turned on, I fucked my husband hard and over and over just thinking about it.
After a couple of days, I finally felt that one person stood out. He was my age, built like a football player, thick and long where it mattered, and he was easy to talk to. We spoke via email for a while before moving to phone calls and texts. A couple of weeks later, we met for the first time in a hotel room, my husband in tow to watch. That night, a Hotwife was born. “Thor,” my nickname for my first partner and his dick, was amazing. He helped me get acclimated, put me at ease, and gave me a half-dozen orgasms via hard vaginal sex, a couple more by eating me out, and my very first orgasm by anal sex. I was immediately addicted. Before he left for the night, Thor spoke to me about how he had a feeling I was a natural submissive, despite my controlling ways in my personal and professional life. Sexually, he was certain I was submissive, and he wanted me to do some research on BDSM before we met again.
I did the research, and he was right. I am a submissive to my core. My experiences in a D/s relationship will come at later dates. This post was just to remind myself, and introduce you, to how this whole fucking situation got started. Because the each sexual experience, and what I want to say to those partners, well that will take many posts and a lot of time. For now, I have only one thing to say to “Thor….”
Thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes, my mind and my body up to the beautiful, wild, sometimes scary and more than a little bat shit crazy world of submission. We never were able to connect as D/s, but you pointed me in the direction I needed in order to release my fears, share by body, open my mind, heal my heart and free my spirit. You began the whirlwind that has been the past 18 months of exploration, and while we rarely talk anymore, I think of you often. You could have been the one to hurt me, make me realize I never should have become the hotwife my husband wanted, but you were kind, giving, fun and the right person for me at that point in my life. Thank you for being you, accepting my fat ass, and making me feel sexy and wanted. Muah!